raving

WATCHING:

The Talented Mr. Ripley. yes, i know, this movie is a bit old. i kept saying to myself "why haven't i watched this countless times before now"? it was genius! beautiful men- matt damon and jude law. matchless acting. gwenyth paltrow- a gem! and the plot just kept twisting and twisting. i thought it a bit draggy towards the end, and could definitely have used a bit more closure, but still- i'm infatuated.

mmm-hm! and let me tell you, modern men would do well to take style tips from this film, period piece that is it. the relaxed slacks, cuffed at the hem, the dress shoes, nice oxfords, jude law "dickie"'s trademark black hat that has become so popular with the rock-n-roll scene of late...and all thw while pushing the homosexual agenda in a sly, artful, diabolical way, appealing to all within us that longs for the chic and fabulous eurpean lifestyle. bravo, hollywood. but really, i loved it.

finally finished

READING:

"tweak: my life on methamphetamines" by nic sheff (the man in photo, above)
yes, i am very often attracted to dark and twisty. yes, this book was as tragic as memoirs get. but, you know, i always think but for the grace of God, there go i. it keeps me grounded. keeps me occupied with so much to pray over. this book was well-written, with great visual details. even though sheff tried to break up the drudgery with wistful flashbacks of a privileged, if unconventional, childhood, i still had to rotate this book with a few others (i almost never read a book exclusively, straight through) to keep my spirits up. i did not enjoy this book as much as the last memoir i read, or the one before that, but i still highly recommend it.

fall 08

who reads a blog without pictures?
some of my latest favored looks for fall 08

gucci:

i'm attracted to all the black, the hippie and rock-n-roll references, military jacket, ethnic prints in subdued colors, and fur.

stella mccartney:

black, again, i love the gentle tulip-shaped skirt, and check out the rich detail in that top! also, the box handbag.

wunderkind:

the lumberjack plaid in the top look just sends me thinking about a warm cozy shirt and a cup of hot cocoa. winter is admittedly my least favorite season but going to school in michigan has me constantly on the lookout for cold-weather items. again, notice the adorable military jacket suit and the grey and black.

all images courtesy of style.com

breakfast smoothie

Breakfast Smoothie #2

1/3 frozen banana
approx. 2/3 c. soymilk
1 tsp. sugarfree maple syrup
1/2 scoop vanilla protein powder
1/2 scoop chocolate fiber powder
1 large tsp all-natural chunky peanut butter
2 ice cubes

Blend all ingredients till smooth. Sprinkle with favorite granola or cereal.

was i just meant to be surrounded by the golden halo of blonde
the crimson swiftly passing
never to become that vixen of a dark brunette shade
that earthy grounded wild rock-n-roll coating of luscious cocoa-molasses dreams?

sorry i suffer from acute ramblings and paranoid introspectiveness

moving on
i have very mixed feelings about going back to college in michigan
i am praying for the Lord's direction and assurance

not so great

i am just feeling really poorly about my body this evening
i feel like i have absolutely no self-control with food
i feel like no amount of working out will do any good
i feel like no matter how hard i work, i will never be a match for genetics, social conditioning, and aging
how lame is that?

...

i keep wondering
what was i doing in years past that "worked"?
will i always feel like i'm going crazy?
what did stars, and even normal women, do in decades past, like the 40's and 50's, before the workout craze?

she suspected sometimes he did things because he felt sorry for her
what could she expect
she has one leg
placate her with a sweet treat
one kindness for years of mistreatment
he put her down
put her in her place
"i was doing something about it

until you interfered"
now she is
crushed
under the weight of obligation, unchangeable circumstances, monumental longsuffering
she tries hard not to cry when i come to her
and say
"i know you're upset..."

extra! extra!

see, it was really just the kindness of my heart that led to my untimely demise. i was baking pre-shaped cookies (a sin of the baking industry, if you ask me) for my family, and there was this runt. i mean, it barely survived the baking-sheet-to-cooling-cloth sojourn, and it lay there limply, nearly torn in two. it beckoned to me with its ooey-gooey center and just-crisped edges. and then, after a pregnant eternity...i gave in. i ate a whole cookie. and while most of you are out there rolling your eyes and such, those who know me know how monumental this is. i even poured a little glass of soymilk. i don;t even know how long it's been since i've eaten a whole cookie. i'll spare you the nutritional facts that i couldn't resist peeking at. this is the fall of the berlin wall. this is sliced bread. this is hiroshima. (ok, well, maybe not...you get the point)

EATING:

confession: i taste-test way too much while cooking. it's like i've had half a meal by the time i'm done cooking the meal

that aside, this afternoon's endeavors yielded a lovely saladita with corn, black beans, and cilantro, a wonderful portbello mushroom curry, and a big bowl of mixed salad, for which i highly recommend annie's organic brand balsamic vinaigrette or lite raspberry vinaigrette.

right now i am enjoying a dessert of a (diet) all-natural root beer float made with homemade french vanilla soy ice cream. (and rainbow sprinkles!)

INSPIRED:


"haunt me" blog
http://stringbeanjean.blogspot.com/
truly memorable
i like her writing

psalm 86

Psalm 86 (The Message)

The Message (MSG)

Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Psalm 86

A David Psalm

1-7 Bend an ear, God; answer me. I'm one miserable wretch!
Keep me safe—haven't I lived a good life?
Help your servant—I'm depending on you!
You're my God; have mercy on me.
I count on you from morning to night.
Give your servant a happy life;
I put myself in your hands!
You're well-known as good and forgiving,
bighearted to all who ask for help.
Pay attention, God, to my prayer;
bend down and listen to my cry for help.
Every time I'm in trouble I call on you,
confident that you'll answer.

8-10 There's no one quite like you among the gods, O Lord,
and nothing to compare with your works.
All the nations you made are on their way,
ready to give honor to you, O Lord,
Ready to put your beauty on display,
parading your greatness,
And the great things you do—
God, you're the one, there's no one but you!

11-17 Train me, God, to walk straight;
then I'll follow your true path.
Put me together, one heart and mind;
then, undivided, I'll worship in joyful fear.
From the bottom of my heart I thank you, dear Lord;
I've never kept secret what you're up to.
You've always been great toward me—what love!
You snatched me from the brink of disaster!
God, these bullies have reared their heads!
A gang of thugs is after me—
and they don't care a thing about you.
But you, O God, are both tender and kind,
not easily angered, immense in love,
and you never, never quit.
So look me in the eye and show kindness,
give your servant the strength to go on,
save your dear, dear child!
Make a show of how much you love me
so the bullies who hate me will stand there slack-jawed,
As you, God, gently and powerfully
put me back on my feet.

frosty afternon drink

my latest concoction:

Pink Tropical Smoothie

1/4 c. soymilk
1/4 c. water
1 tsp "orange sunrise" sugarfree drink mix
3 drops coconut extract
1/2 c. frozen cubes mango
1 prickly pear
1/2 banana
3-4 ice cubes

- Blend till smooth. Sprinkle with dried orange rind, or add some whipped cream.

i don't want to go
alone
i don't want to go
alone
i don't want to go
alone

why can't you see?

biking:

the air was so refreshing, a calming caress on the cheek after so many hard dripping afternoons.
it was positively succulent, saturated with the sweet smell of green.
enjoy the sunshine, i told myself
don't work out
feel the pedals propel you foward
fell your hands flex on the handelbars
the wind at your face
the trail running at your back
i told myself
savor this


LISTENING:

the national
oh, the gentle yet insistent voice
tender, buttery-rich tender sexiness
and charming lyrics to match
that is the national
melancholy coaxing
perfectly suitable for any occasion or season (in my life, anyway)
it makes the colors dim
as sepia tints take over
and everything is mellowed
i watch from far away
as my life unfolds before me like an ancient film reel
that is the national's magic spell

listen

INSPIRED:

watches! i don't ever wear them , preferring to check the time on my cellphone, but for fall i'm thinking a nice, kind of chunky, old-looking mens watch would be a solid, often-used accessory. not the most original idea, i know, but the time os right for me and i will execute with flawless precision, rest assured.

EATING:

sorry there haven't been many of these posts. besides the lack of camera, my food has been pretty simple, althouh wonderful, and i continue to make altogether too much of it. after all the produce-buying me and my mom did at the grocery store the other day, we decided to make amazing 7-layer salad. i could seriously eat plates and plates of this stuff, if unrestrained. it's magic.

Magic 7-Layer Salad

-Grab a large bowl with a lid.
-Assemble layers:
first, spinach leaved and iceberg lettuce, loosely torn
second, shredded cheese of your choice- originally, it's supposed to be cheddar
third, chopped mushrooms
fourth, sliced red or sweet onions, in rings
fifth, chopped roma or plum tomatoes
sixth, green peas
seventh, dressing: 1/2 c. mayo, 1/2 c. sour cream, 1/4 c. chopped fresh basil. again, feel free to play around with flavors, but the original is great
top with more cheese and a layer of crumbled bacon.
-If you can hold back, pop it in the fridge for a few hours to marinade before enjoying.

i vegan-ized my smaller bowl by using veggie sausage crumbles on top, veggie "cheese", and a mix of vegan mayo and pesto hummus for the dressing. it was extremely delicious!

mostly, i've just been eating a lot of fresh fruit and veggies (or, i try to!). it's summer, anyways- that's what summer is all about! (well, that and slurpees!)

random discovery; reminiscing

i rediscovered my belly button today. i suppose one can go for quite some time only being unconscious of the existence of belly buttons, and then a person is looking in the mirror or touching their tummy one day and they're like "hey! what is that thing? oh...."

well, this isn't actually mine.sadly.

hopefully mine is working towards resembling something like this :)
...

so, i was thinking (you're all reading this going "not again!"

thinking about a neighborhood hill, where a couple could sit in each other's arms and survey the surrounding suburbs. thinking about how a boy could kiss a girl in this certain rendezvous, and they didn't care if a few teenyboppers or moms with strollers happened to pass, because they (those two) were in love. thinking about hot, sticky summer rides with no AC, windows down, but only as far as her hair could handle it. thinking about summers lengthening into late fall. it's almost too dark to be taking a common walk. it's almost too chilly, bitingly harsh to be out at all. but she is warmed from inner glow, as she works carefully masking her after-school stolen moments. she is in love.

they were naughty. they were young.

they were tactile freshly scented vividly captured memories, time-travel compatible, shock-inducingly sudden.

...

LISTENING:
into the wild: the motion picture soundtrack

all songs are by eddie vedder, lead singer and sometimes-guitarist for pearl jam. but do not be deterred by any previous opinions about said man or band. this music is a precise fit for the movie, and i tell myself now that if i stumbled upon this music, even without the movie, it would still appeal to me. vedder has this haunting, wild lone-wolf sound in some tracks, and in others he could be that haggard but compassionate beggar man sitting at the corner of the cracker barrel and the texaco. he was even awarded a golden globe award for the track "guaranteed".

... the soy ice cream was amazing, thanks for asking. i made it maple-chocolate-pecan flavor. up ahead: i'm thinking something with almond, since i got this almond milk, and the taste is ok, but not quite to my favor as much as soymilk. maybe cherries would pair well? any suggestions?

pooped

my body is just exhausted, maybe as an after-effect of mental stress.
i'm lacking motivation to stick with my workout routine

as we speak, i am making my first test batch in an ancient ice cream maker that i rescued from my dad's house. this batch is not vegan, but you can look foward to my many vegan substitutions and variations on yummy frozen things- ice cream is my all-time favorite food!

i do not want to really do anything except lie around on my bed and read and watch movies.
well, i would like to see my friends, and i do occasionally, but it's not a given.
anyways, i feel like i am being a giant baby, and i probably am.
i should suck it up and get up early tomorrow morning and go on that run.
i should be kinder and more gracious to my family, regardless of how they treat me.
i should try to be more content. i should worry less and encourage more.
i am sorry if i have failed any of you.

3 observations

as i took my hour-and-a-half walk around vienna this afternoon, i thought of 3 observations:

1. i am a renaissance woman
this is not because of social conditioning, or family expectations. rather, it is of my own doing.
however, i think i tend to give off "vibes" of unrest, of an impending storm, due to my whirlwind nature and dark-and-twisty general air. these vibes render me largely unapproachable, and even my own friends whom i have known for years at times cannot deal with my ever-shifting surface. it is partially my responsibility to work extra hard to overcome this vibe in everyday life. as approachable and outgoing as i may see myself, i have to realize others may not view it that way.
i see it as a sign of maturity, not of weakness, that i am trying to tone it down into a more concentrated way of life, focusing on a few things at a time rather that trying to be everything at once.

2. do not underestimate the sly charm of an old, slightly beat-up stripmall

3. a great pair of sunglasses and confident walk can do a hell of a lot for a girl. (heck, it can do wonders for a guy, too)

indulgence- not just for friday nights

guess i should go to bed. staying up till 5:30 am watching my new favorite tv show (besides greys anatomy, of course. but they're just 2 different animals) back-episodes is just a luxury my summer happens to afford me. dont be envious, though- i'll probably get woken up in a few short hours.


WATCHING:

i'm a fully dedicated taylor kitsch fan!

friday media

today was rough. luckily, i had some buoyancy from my internal soundtrack and eyes pointed towards evening plans.

WATCHING:

i loved amanda seyfreid (she was the main reason i wanted to see this) and glenn close was, of course, superb. the whole thing was a bit over-the-top, so besides being a bit creeped out at times, i really enjoyed it. this isn't really the type of movie i am usually attracted to, but i left with toes tapping, wanting to dance, and that's a great sign.

LISTENING:

"American Boy", by Estelle, featuring Kanye West. the first time i heard this- not so hot. but it's grown on me, and today it's been all i wanted to listen to. and, yeah, i could be turned off by kanye west's enormously huge ego, but generally it goes with rapper territory, and i think his music is sweet.