what mood is this

i can say there's been not a small bit of yelling, lots of cooking, lots of lazy hours, and lots of thinking.
certainly not enough sleep or homework.
some strange kind of spring break.
also, i wrote my first song. it begins:
"I've been staring so much but not really seeing/
The words flow through me but I know I'm not reading"

happy weekend



 (photos are hedi slimane and garance dore)

i know i'm off my posting schedule.
i've had one hell of a rollercoaster birthday weekend, full of drama but also great moments.
i've washed it all off, 
and i'm moving forward.
hello to my 20th year.



actually, i really liked it. i'd heard so much about it before i saw it, and i was expecting it to be much scarier. it is seriously graphic and contains a lot of rough material that not everyone can handle. but i did not feel like the graphic scenes were gratuitous. 

i loved charlotte gainsbourg and willem dafoe's on-screen chemistry. they are both beautiful in their own strange, raw sort of way. i was going to see the film anyways because i have a huge girl-crush on charlotte gainsbourg. i can admit it. i loved the dreamy scenes where she is visualizing herself in the woods. i loved the opera in the beginning and the end. without giving too much away, i loved the core of the plot- how she is studying the persecution of women, who are seen to be inherently evil, and...she ends up believing and embodying what she had been critiquing. adam and eve, garden of eden imagery abounds...it;s not your typical torture/horror film. not at all.

what i didn't love: the talking fox? seriously? and the scene at the end when he looks back over his shoulder and the 3 beggar animals are sitting there watching him, shimmering like obi-wan kenobi and yoda? i laughed out loud. but besides that, it was solid. the women in the tree trunks- genius.

i haven't read many real reviews, but here's the rottentomatoes link. looks like it's all very mixed feelings.

(all photos from google image search)



if you can't tell, i really, really (really) want to dye my hair
preferably that soft lavender from the photo above

(all photos from google image search)


this is england

skinheads, british politics, discontent, growing up, death, government lies, violence, heart

it's all here, in this scrappy little independent film
a semi-autobiographical tale from 1983 UK, a little slice of skinhead reality
spot-on acting, not too tidy and not too glamorized
rotten tomatoes review here 
(photos from google images)


i'm fighting


i'm fighting the feeling steadily through my days
that i'm a slave to my commitments
that all my time has been bartered
and i can't ever get this part of my life back
once it's passed

i know this post is late
i've just been really busy