where is the revolution?

"We forget too often that our lives are just fictions,

that this human life of ours- abstracted from the land, abstract in itself- is not grounded in reality, but in drama, illusion. Our lives are no different from dreams, a scattered blur from one meal to the next, from one conversatio to the next, one megaplex, one strip mall, one coffee cup, one beer, one fix- a ceaseless drifting from sensation to sensation, a constant-sating of the base desires.

We are raised in this 'reality' so its contours are invisible to us. We see each moment but fail to see the unifying thread- the alienation of humanity from nature, the ills of domestication, the dependence of humans upon technological death machines to survive and a growing incapability of these generations of young humans now in possession of the planet to connect to it in any living way. We have lost our ability to experience the grander trends as revealed through the almighty Moment. We cling to our petty satisfactions as a paddler fallen from a canoe clings to the rocks. We do not dare to imagine a life without pizza, ice cream, microwaves, transportation, convenience, comfort, ease.

The 21st century has been to kind to us so far. It holds new horizons for us as an ubersoul and as an uberspecies, but it remains pregnant with disaster. There must be wars, Great Wars, which span all frontiers, in which all are embroiled with conflict: the inner war spilling out into our long-abandoned commons, opening up doorways between en and women to converse freely, tearing down walls between minds and bodies, flesh and the soul. Bottles will be uncorked and men in pajamas will run terrified and buoyant through the streets. If there is not madness, there will be blood, midnight rivers of blood rushing mad like the Mississippi through the markets of the world, stampeding through those who stand still, topling those who once towered above the meek and lowly, lifting the strong and light, buoying them up on its terrible tide..."

Hudson Spivey, Adbusters Summer 2010


live on coffee and flowers

i'm not doing so well, inside my head. i'm overwhelmed with everything. these lyrics are the only words that really make sense to me right now.

The National
"Conversation 16"

I think the kids are in trouble
Do not know what all the troubles are for
Give them ice for their fevers
You're the only thing I ever want anymore
Live on coffee and flowers
Try not to worry what the weather will be
I figured out what we're missing
I tell you miserable things after you are asleep

Now we'll leave the silver city 'cause all the silver girls
Gave us black dreams
Leave the silver city 'cause all the silver girls
Everything means everything

It's a Hollywood summer
You never believe the shitty thoughts I think
Meet our friends out for dinner
When I said what I said I didn't mean anything
We belong in a movie
Try to hold it together 'til our friends are gone
We should swim in a fountain
Do not want to disappoint anyone

Now we'll leave the silver city 'cause all the silver girls
Gave us black dreams
Leave the silver city to all the silver girls
Everything means everything

I was afraid, I'd eat your brains
I was afraid, I'd eat your brains
'Cause I'm evil
'Cause I'm evil

I'm a confident liar
Had my head in the oven so you'd know where I'll be
I'll try to be more romantic
I want to believe in everything you believe
I was less than amazing
Do not know what all the troubles are for
Fall asleep in your branches
You're the only thing I ever want anymore

Now we'll leave the silver city 'cause all the silver girls
Gave us black dreams
Leave the silver city to all the silver girls
Everything means everything

I was afraid, I'd eat your brains
I was afraid, I'd eat your brains
'Cause I'm evil
'Cause I'm evil
'Cause I'm evil


summer catch-all

so, i'm a semi-infrequent blogger. at best. ah well.

returning to my gender studies musings, I've started Queer as Folk season 1, and I'm delightfully outraged with each and every episode (so far). my housemate puts up with me yelling at the television for hours on end.

i saw the national, earlier this week, in detroit. that event merits its own post, for sure.

i'm still reading, simplifying, and tidying up loose ends in preparation of my leaving for OR in 2 weeks (!!)
it will take adjustment, but i look forward to unplugging from the internet and being forced to engage texts and nature with others.

i've been closing out the dance floor, and i got a tattoo.
i'm missing my boys already.

i'm inspired by fall, disposable camera goodness, and breakfast foods (my favorite).



yes please

train hopping
show me the wide-open spaces


incredibly attractive

it's coming across photostreams such as this one that make me realize yes, i am still interested in fashion, and please, can i dress like this all the time? and have beautiful glossy korean hair? ok thanks.

i have not forgotten you

a spot-on observation:

Under the current ‘tyranny of slenderness’ women are forbidden to become large or massive; they must take up as little space as possible. The very contours a woman’s body takes on as she matures - the fuller breasts and rounder hips - have become distasteful. The body by which a woman feels herself judged and which by rigorous discipline she must try to assume is the body of early adolescence, slight and unformed, a body lacking flesh or substance, a body in whose very contours the image of immaturity has been inscribed. The requirement that a woman maintain a smooth and hairless skin carries further the theme of inexperience, for an infantilized face must accompany her infantilized body, a face that never ages or furrows its brow in thought. The face of the ideally feminine woman must never display the marks of character, wisdom and experience that we so admire in men.
Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power, Sandra Lee Bartky
who truly wants a real woman? who does? the "tyranny of slenderness" poisons the minds of men and women alike.


things you should know

i drink hot cocoa in the summertime

--more posts and pictures coming whenever my internet decides to shape the hell up--


this is how it goes

kicking biology exam ass in the morning
falling in love (via the internets) with crafty decorator men in the afternoons

i found the blog of Daniel Kanter, rising sophomore (fetus!) at NYU, documenting his apartment adventures at Manhattan Nest. i read through the archives. i have great fondness for this kid.

 Daniel made this desk, starting with an old bedside table. how perfect is that chair?

this post highlights my inner struggle between my strong minimalist tendencies-as referenced in other posts- (tangent- one of my close friends told me the other day she was watching Fight Club and many of the lines reminded her of me. so flattering!) and my strong thrift-hunting, crafting, decorating tendencies. whatever will i do? curate, curate, curate! and detach, detach, detach.



oh, DC! and who am I to look to the past? but there it is- in the books I pick up, the blogs and magazines I read, the people I meet. I'm feeling a strong pull back to the East Coast. it's undeniable. and its curious as well- I never really experienced DC the way an adult could, growing up as I did in a conservative community 30 minutes out. and also curious that out of all the places I want to experience, DC should be pulling on me so severely (a repeat location!) but nevertheless, I want to be there so badly. bring me the monuments, the gorgeous W&OD bike trail, bring me Appalachia and the Shenandoah Valley! I did not believe my mother or I would have the money for me to come visit this year- life is so unstable there. but I'm holding out hope.

 I haven't seen the cherry blossoms for four years now
this is a section of the W&OD trail that passes right through the town my family stays in- I biked and ran this stretch many times the summer after my first year of college
more trail
this photo is from the journey of Jack, writer of Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity. I encourage you to read his story from the start of the blog. he embarked on a bike trip across the US, starting right in- you guessed it- DC. this photo was taken in the first week, still riding through Appalachia.

i just want to be back there- it's an ache in my heart
(all photos from google image search, except Jack's)



"Mohammed" by the Dandy Warhols
It came on my ipod as I was walking back to campus
Through the eerie, silent plasticity of midwestern suburbia
Today the skies were heavy with the threat of rain
My body and soul were weary- but I endure, looking forward to deep rest
It just felt right.

Again and again.
I get up and say, I only want to get it right.
I only want to do the right thing, but all these demons harass my soul.
I won't be today, I'm alone again.
No one can make that alive, no one can say they're better not when,
all this freedom you get is a lie.
Again and again.