my stresses

well, I am EXHAUSTED. this summer existence stopped being relaxing about a week ago, and that was only one week in! today, we (my mom, sister, and I) were out almost all day and i have not had a break. do you know how hard it is to manage a household with a wheelchair?

huge, bulky, annoying thing...so, the steps:

1. hour-long drive to church, with CONSTANT backseat driving from the mother. and i mean the really annoying, blatant, stick-head-in-blender kind. and, i mean, i can't blame her- my mom was in the hospital 5 months and lost a leg to a car accident, but her jumpiness and distrust of me only breeds strife, not help me drive better.
2. load wheelchair out of trunk, get mom in it, wheel her into church (it was the first sunday she had been since the accident, in january, so it was kind of a big deal). sit through church, and everyone swarming her afterwards
3. get mom back in car, re-load wheelchair. believe it or not, this thing is ornery and heavy and this step does not get any easier with time
4. drive half-hour to restaurant, repeat unload process
5. help mom through restaurant and meal, enduring obvious staring
6. re-load into car
7. drive to target, un-load
8. navigate target (and you know we can never go in "just for a few things". it's always a full-blown TRIP, complete with check-all-the-perimeter-for-reduced-items-scavenger-hunt
9. manage sister, cart, bags, and wheelchair, re-load
10. drive to cell phone store, repeat process
11. drive home, unload car and mom
12. getting home, discover that because of taking ONE night off from doing dishes, the house (and immediately, the kitchen) is a COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER because no one else but me, in a family of five (four not counting mom) lifts a finger to do anything
13. spend an hour tidying up kitchen just so i can make dinner
14. go out (walking. and mind you, i've been in heels all day and just changed into sandals) to grocery store with the little sister, who has been begging me for a walk (we'll get back to this later)
15. put away groceries, go on walk for-real
16. get back, do more kitchen stuff, chores, cleaning, etc till realizing i really need to post, even though i must get up at 6 tomorrow morning to take my brother and sister to school, with mom in tow, an hour's commute both ways

AAAEYAH!
now do you see? i believe i can say i know a little bit of what a mom of, say, 2 toddlers and one newborn feels like.

except not with all the warm fuzzies. and i'm not trying to complain, at least not about the mom part. but the everyone else part- yeah, there could definitely be some changes. i know God is shaping me through this, and He has a perfect purpose for each person in my family going through this time, but sometimes i wonder if there was any way i could make it easier...if there is something i am doing wrong...or am i just stuck with this? this life? because, i feel like i am bitter and cynical and critical enough as it is, and with things going the way they are, i just feel like that will get worse. *but only if you let it* says that little voice. yeah, well we'll see.

ok, switching gears, America rant. now, y'all oughta know, i am proud to live here, will be till i die (or move away, he he), and am a very patriotic person, but i am not one of those dopes who mindlessly defends this country's sins and shortcomings. there are definiteley institutions and practices which are wrong, and some that are also very impractical, inefficient, and unfair. three times in the past two weeks have i experienced my money coming up painfully short when at the grocery store, and what was the bulk of my purchases? fruits and vegetables. and, you know, as soon as i can, i'll be hitting up the local farmer's market, but that wasn't an option this time, and Lord knows it would be nice to shop economically in the grocery store! i HATE how backwards the american economy is! almost any other country in the world, what is the cheapest food to buy? fresh, local produce. dirt cheap. it is only the rich (er) who can afford to buy processed foods. but not in america! i get my arm wrenched behind my back and my wallet emptied just trying to buy fruits and vegetables! and the American sad diet lives on...

see? local, fresh markets in spain and south america. the way food should be.

but what do we have?

over-processed, sugar-laden, white-flour, mass-produced, hormone and antibacterial-laced, chemical-flavored, freeze-packed, distance-shipped crap! and don't get me started on the way our animal markets are dominated bu the big boys, so there is practically no free economy left, and how less than 30% of goods nowadays come from independent farmers, and all the devastation caused to towns and families because of the crowding out of little-man, American dream farmers. oh no, we'll save that for another time.

whew! so, hope that gives you something to think about. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS! serve someone other than yourself, even if you don;t feel like it. and buy local.

oh. outfit today:
sexy dark grey low v-neck with black trim (urban outfitters men's)
60's vintage-print (blue, white, pink, flowers...meh) skirt, worn high-waisted with navy patent leather skinny belt
medium brown espadrille-style wedge sandals
vintage small gold drop earrings
simple hair
white-and-brown leather coach bag

SORRY no pictures. i was too busy running around to take a phone picture, and am still lacking on the camera front. do your best to imagine me working it, sexy-like.