its always good

why is it (nearly) every time i'm prompted to update this blog, it's to share something from or pertaining to the national?

because they're so great. every word, every line, perfect for my every day. that's pretty incredible.

my new favorite (off the new album high violet), sorrow:

sorrow found me when I was young
sorrow waited, sorrow won
sorrow they put me on the pill
it's in my honey, it's in my milk

don't leave my hyper heart alone on the water
cover me in rag and bone sympathy
'cause I don't wanna get over you
I don't wanna get over you

sorrow's my body on the waves
sorrow's a girl inside my cake
I live in a city sorrow built
it's in my honey, it's in my milk

don't leave my hyper heart alone on the water
cover me in rag and bone sympathy
'cause I don't wanna get over you
I don't wanna get over you

don't leave my hyper heart alone on the water
cover me in rag and bone sympathy
'cause I don't wanna get over you
I don't wanna get over you

my time is currently being eaten by my gender studies capstone. im steadily working my way through all the great documentary material the Logo channel has on their website, and i'm writing about performances of masculinity and gay stereotypes and breakthroughs in television. finally, material i want to read, talk about, study, (just not quite ready to write yet). i still need to get out of this town, am in desperate need of a change of scenery. but then there's work and planning and money and finding travel companions. nothing ever just "comes together". people you thought would be there for you- aren't. you never see your life heading in the direction that you see it's become. (ok, bringing it back down now). what if i just went off alone, just took off and ended up somewhere new for awhile. 

but i don't think i'm there yet. or maybe i am and i just don't know it. i believe each of us are capable of so much more than we ever trust ourselves with. the future will tell.