jungle and telephone poles: revisited

i went biking this evening to get outside and clear my head (as i often do)
i had just begun a new section of trail
the sun was setting to my left; the cityscape was to my right
(i just wish i could bathe everyone in the pink-gold glow of the sunset)
the wind was blowing; all around me wild grasses were billowing
the trail stretched clear ahead of me
and i thought about
how truly grateful i am
to have been able to live here these past two months
my summer by no means went according to plan
how i envisioned it
nor was it easy
my life does not fall into my lap complete
but still
i am grateful
and i'm ready for what's next

i have spent much of my free time these past two months on activities i long to do during the school year...creative things which i consider essential for shaping myself as a person, but often get begrudgingly shoved aside in favor of schoolwork. creative things including my never-ending list of books, film scholarship, sewing projects and clothing reconstructions, long bike rides, photography, and (recently) knitting. i anticipate that when i arrive in ghana, i will have no time or brain capacity for these activities i cherish right now- my mind will be too full with sights and adjustments. i would like to think i'll acclimate smoothly, but i probably will have trouble, the same as everyone else. and really, this nervousness is partially motivated by an inner selfishness which wants me to remain comfortable and secure and fully in charge of every hour of my day. am i really the diector of the minutes of my day anyways? no. in this final week before my departure i am going to try to cultivate an attitude of jumping in feet-first, so to speak. i want to be ready and available to participate in whatever comes my way, and not be hung up about pasttimes i cherish here or things i'm missing out on or wanting to conduct things my way. i certainly think this will be easier said than done. i'll let you know.